


Biological Issues

by GettingMetaphysical



Series: Doctor-on-Doctor Shenanigans [6]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, Banter, Doctorcest, Hand Jobs, Happy Sex, Humor, M/M, Oral Sex, Romance, Self-cest, Sex Pollen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-11 05:43:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Explicit Sex - Warning
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3316337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GettingMetaphysical/pseuds/GettingMetaphysical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Fifth Doctor has tried to suppress the effects of a wicked aphrodisiac for weeks. Who else but your future self would you turn to for solving such an intimate problem?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Biological Issues

**Author's Note:**

> Silly, plotless, almost domestic Middle-Aged!Five X Younger!Six. Extensive bickering and sex, oh my! :D
> 
> * * *

  
”Are you quite serious?”

”Yes. I can feel the waves coming over me. I don’t mean to trigger any flashbacks, but it’s getting _highly_ uncomfortable.”

The Sixth Doctor reclined in the red velvet armchair. ”You look fine to me. Especially without that insipid jumper.”

The Fifth Doctor harrumphed from where he stood some feet away. He was panting, as if the run after phasing into the TARDIS control room to the lounge had exhausted him. However, the running wasn’t the reason and the panting wasn’t decreasing. The Fifth’s skin was red, blotchy from forehead to collar. And, the Sixth noted as the cricketer’s coat swept aside, his nipples were erect underneath his shirt. Had his trousers not been internally expanded for modesty’s sake, they’d look like a little striped cream tent.

”Would you stop ogling me.”

”I’m assessing your condition. How long has it been since I so fatuously touched the Sophomore Stem barehanded?”

”Six weeks, maybe,” Five said. ”I haven’t quite kept track. I can’t believe it’s a delicacy on so many planets, it’s just all over the Tricolor Systems these days. And the symptoms…”

”Yes, our people do grouch about the diffusion of a plant that’s an aphrodisiac to us. With your physically young body, a mere touch–”

”–Is enough to make me think I’m fine for a week, but then I start sweating too much and turning in my sleep, and I have frankly Freudian dreams, dreams about – look, Freud’s theories were highly biased, which makes it even odder.”

His prudish previous self rubbed the back of his flushed neck, absentmindedly shameless in front of the older Time Lord.

”So you’re aroused – what a colossal crisis.” Six threw his hands up. ”Why haven’t you simply, as humans say, _beat it_?”

”That, um, wouldn’t help. I’ve just tried to ignore it.” Five sighed. ”I haven’t worn my jumper for a while now, I’m so hot…”

”You’re damn right I was,” the Doctor berated himself. ”I had three fit, mature companions, and you didn’t think to ask any of them for assistance?”

”My _biological issues_ are none of their business. We could never exploit our friends like that.”

”True.” Six folded his arms. ”Yet so inefficiently inclined to barge in and exploit myself. How do you know _I’ve_ not things to be doing, places to be?”

His past shoved his hands in his pockets. ”Well, for one, we’re still talking.”

”I’m afraid so.”

”Besides,” the Fifth said, a deeper red blooming on his cheeks, ”neither Nyssa, Turlough nor Tegan could, um… Well, the condition I’m in right now is even a Gallifreyan oddity…”

”Three alien species, none of them with sufficient stamina, nor range of agreeing abilities, even appendages. A _crying_ shame, I’m aware.”

Still, even at his own mercy there was a myriad methods of release.

”I trust Eight was unavailable?”

”I’d rather be gone for hours than _days_ , thank you very much.”

”Four?”

”Four would torture me!”

”And here I thought I used to be a masochist.”

”I’m not in the mood.”

”And I’m always gentler?” The Doctor scoffed. ”What about Ten? He adores you. He’d be as tender or torturous as you ask.”

Five opened his mouth, but paused. Eventually, he told the TARDIS floor:

”…His is good, but… Yours is thicker.”

Six’s jaw dropped.

”Thicker? Thicker?” The Doctor guffawed while his counterpart’s shoulders slumped. ” _Thicker_? Oh, naturally, splendid! Only the mightiest of cocks in all the land shall have the gracious honor of pleasing shallow Princess Fivey!”

”I’m not shallow!”

The Sixth grinned in a mighty impression of their Fourth self. ”Yes, I was.”

”You know that’s not a proper reason, because I’ve run out of those.”

”As usual, then.”

Five clenched his fists, glaring at him.

”Has is occurred to you that I might just _want_ you? Without rhyme or reason, I just have a craving for _you_ in particular?”

”Say that again, darling, I don’t think they heard you back on Alpha Centauri.”

”Doctor!”

”Doctor. All I want is for you to _ask_. Properly.”

The Fifth looked to the ceiling, as if the Old Girl could answer him if his future was joking. Six almost couldn’t tell - this personality often sought the upper hand, however small or petty.

”…Doctor, please help me.” The younger Doctor shut his eyes briefly. ”I want… no. I need you to satisfy me.”

Six couldn’t help the smug look on his face. He rose from the seat, striding past himself as if in deep consideration. The younger man meant to put palm to forehead, but ended up rubbing his neck again.

The colorful Doctor took a breath, and with his next step, he turned to face himself. Entering a Role.

”Sit down, Doctor.”

Five blinked. Then went for the armchair.

The Seductive Older Self walked over, in no hurry at all. He remembered this almost predatory tranquility in his movements. The way he now – again, but from the other side of the scene – put his hands on the armrests. Leaned over him, arousing shivers in his previous back.

”Fivey…”

He watched Five swallow. His pale face had gone completely scarlet.

”Let’s get you out of these…”

The cricketer’s coat was slid off his shoulders, gathered behind him, crumpling the celery. Five sighed as their lips met. Relaxed under the hands fondling his torso, his legs, but avoiding his groin. Six felt an encouraging noise at the suspenders and cream trousers being undone, slowly pulled down his hips, past his knees. He jumped a little when his arse got grabbed to move him forward on the seat…

Their lips parted. Five wouldn’t really mind, as Six kissed his way down his body. In fact, he had valued the particularly vivid view of Six kneeling in front of him, barely nudging his pants with those perfect lips…

”Poor thing, look at that,” he cooed while hooking his fingers into boring white boxers. ”You’re a hot mess, Fivey.”

Five nearly smiled. ”I bet you could make me one.”

”I suppose there’s no other way…”

Six recalled this breath on his cock, soft and cool in contrast. It quivered in front of him, fluid already drizzling from the tip. Looking up at himself, Six said:

”Wank yourself.”

Five’s expression dropping from anticipation to offense was completely worth it.

”Pardon?”

”What?” Six smirked with a sing-song voice. ”Expecting me to do all the dirty work, when you’re the one complaining about a case of blue balls?”

”What – well, I… you _are_ me. And you know… I wouldn’t…” The sheer embarrassment made Five question his decision to come here. ”Er, I did expect to get… treated…”

Six allowed his demeanor some softness:

”There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

”I know. It’s not… Just, do you _have_ to be such a tease? And I was beginning to… Goodness, you’re all… close.”

The older Doctor grinned; he had thought he’d gone for an accusingly tired look, but Five was mostly pouting.

”Never worry, Tarts.” Six placed his hands on his previous heated thighs, and hoisted himself back up, knees on either side of the seat’s edge. ”In the need of immoral support, I’m quite on top of it. However,” he nodded down at the bulging result of Five’s problem, ”consider this the punishment, and subsequent lesson. Next time this _pops up_ , you come to me or Eight immediately. No waiting it out. And quite frankly, Fivey…” Putting on a husky tone, the older Doctor voiced the younger’s feelings in his ear. ”You look like you’re about to burst.”

Five squeaked. And twitched.

Six straightened, head held high. ”I gave you an order, not a suggestion.”

He smiled at Five’s shaking hands moving down. Blue eyes one-heartedly pleaded with the future one last time; _Just take the responsibility off of me_.

Six shook his head. His partner sighed, and started stroking.

”I’m astounded, Doctor. You must be aware I can feel your heat… that I know how much this will please you. You never did separate pain and pleasure so much as forcefully marry them.”

As if the mention of pain was a secret command to tug just a bit harder, it made Five gasp. The Sixth waited, watched the cues fall into order… Five starting to close his eyes for brief moments, indulging himself; his head relaxing against the back of the chair, blond hair fanning over the velvet edge; soft noises escaping him.

Six bent down to kiss his parted lips. Five answered with clumsy, hungry use of his tongue, strokes slowing down at the distraction. They nearly stopped in surprise when the older man began mouthing his neck and the fabric over his collarbones. Always keeping one hand kneading away at an inner thigh beneath, Six’s other hand ran across his torso – squeezed his side, pinched a nipple, snaking underneath his shirt to stroke his stomach. Then out of it, to tug aside Five’s open collar for more bare, flushed skin to lick.

Without speaking, Five got vocal.

Sometimes, old hands brushed past the vigorous activity of the young. The Doctor increasingly contemplated joining their forces. His partner was so wet that it gushed down his thighs, that Six smelled musk and sex and celery, and very little else. One of his hands was tempted to play with the others balls, the other dug around in Five’s hair.

While his mouth was busy nibbling a left ear, Six’s own erection strained his trousers, begging for reciprocation. There was also the practical need to assist in quickening his past’s relief. Temporarily, anyway.

”My fervent little Fifth,” he growled, low and husky. ”My poor, pathetic Doctor, having to reduce your very self to such audacity.”

The responding grunt made him grin. He was pretty sure Five had lost the ability to converse. Excellent.

”The fact stands, Doctor… We’re a Gallifreyan _abomination_. Narcissists grasping past and future in place of mirrors. An egomaniac at his very worst. Self-absorbed, self-serving, self-sustained and hormone-addled in the consistently crossed boundaries with which we soil our timeline.”

It seemed to be just words, by now. The same gently provoking routine. And Five loved the sound of this fruity, rich voice almost as much as Six loved using it. Might as well poke fun.

“Are you in heat, kitten?” he chuckled into the younger Time Lord’s ear.

“Yes…!” Five whined over his shoulder. No way to tell if that was a reply or an expression of his state of being. This part _was_ rather cloudy.

”Fi-vey~,” he continued. “Tarts…” His tongue circled the other’s earlobe. “Doctor, near and dear… Come now. Give yourself over. End this exasperating act…”

Five groaned: “Trying…”

An actual answer, oh dear.

”Come to me, my Fifth…”

”Ah!” Arching his back, the younger Doctor pumped his wet shaft violently. His entire body shook, bracing against the chair, hips held between the cushioning and his top’s legs. ”Nnngh, yes, Six…!”

His elder held the armrests, got his knees back on the floor.

”When you climax, you call our name.”

Six yanked Five’s wrists from his cock and pushed his hips back down, mouth just above the tip.

”And don’t you dare ruin my clothes.”

It only took a few bobs of his head to get the job done. But Six kept sucking, just for the kick of Five convulsing in his mouth several times over, grabbing Six’s curls in desperation. He yelled their name once and then gasped _Doctor_ to no end, while streams of hot, bitter cum shot down his future self’s throat.

Firm hands held lean hips in place, until they sunk into the seat on their own.

Six plopped his lips off his past dick, chin covered in juices.

”Look what you’ve done,” he whispered, a little hoarse.

Five gripped his collar and kissed him – sloppily, lapping up his own mess. Six took this vulgar clean-up as a compliment.

”Mm… Are you quite finished, now?”

”I…” Five fell back, chest heaving like awoken from an intense dream. ”I think so…”

”I beg to differ. Look what’s rising from the ashes… How pitiably impressive.”

”Oh, no,” Five moaned.

”Oh, yes,” Six said. He stood, pulling Five to his feet. ”Now we’re headed for the best part, you see. We happened to discover that the quickest salvation was to make _contact_ during physical endeavors.”

The younger Doctor dragged his pants back on while his partner started leading them to the nearest bedroom.

”Because I told me so, you mean?”

”Indeed. Thus, not only shall we dance within our minds – you will have the privilege of riding my great _thick_ cock until complete and mutual satisfaction is reached.”

”Really?” In hindsight, he’d been abysmal at hiding his excitement. ”For how long?”

The Sixth Doctor threw a door open and spun around to grab his Fifth self by the collar.

” _Hours_.”

* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
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